Fourth Wheel
by mystiri1
Summary: One-shot. Sephiroth and Aeris talk late at night about standing on the edges of a relationship. Sephiroth/Zack/Cloud/Aeris OT4some.


**_Warning: _**_This story contains mention of a m/m/m/f sexual relationship. If you find homosexual relationships or multiple partners offensive, do go and read something else. And yes, I have heard of canon. This is not it, but if even a fraction of the fangirls I know worked at Squeenix, it would be. On with the OT4some._

* * *

Sephiroth could hear the slow breathing patterns that signified sleep coming from his three bed-mates. It was a bed in the loosest of terms, pile of thick quilts to from a mattress, and another thrown over the top to keep the sleepers warm. There were a handful of cushions scattered about, but the preferred method seemed to be to use somebody else as a pillow.

Carefully he eased himself out from under Zack's head, sliding one of the ignored cushions into place. Zack made a small sound of complaint, but didn't wake. Standing, he wandered over to the edge of Aeris' impossible garden, and stared at the flowers. Dim light still filtered down through the hole in the roof, but it wasn't necessary for someone with his night vision. All the flowers were tightly closed.

"You never stay to snuggle," a voice said behind him. Aeris. He didn't wonder how she managed to get up and approach him without his hearing it, because she was Aeris, and that seems to explain everything from why Zack started dating her in the first place, to how this garden grows. "Are you not comfortable sleeping with others?"

He felt quite horribly uncomfortable, things he both did and didn't want to say welling up in his chest. But the question, although lightly toned, was neither teasing nor prying; there was an edge of something he preferred to think was sympathy rather than pity.

"It's not that," he answered. "It's just – I don't think I belong here."

Aeris frowned. "Here, specifically, or here with us?"

"Here with all of you." Sephiroth ducked his head, hair falling to cover his face in a defensive gesture. "I know you all mean well, and that you do care, but if I do belong then why does it always feel like I'm still on the edges? I feel like you three have let me into your relationship simply to keep me from being alone." He managed to bite back a slightly bitter '_I don't want your pity.'_

It was so easy to believe he was truly wanted when they were touching, when skin brushed skin, and all the words melted into meaninglessness. But afterwards, when it was silent, all the doubts crept back in.

And he had so many.

He was waiting for her denial, reassurance, but Aeris didn't speak immediately. When she did, it wasn't what he expected at all.

"I feel the same way, sometimes." Aeris looked at him, a smile on her face that wasn't entirely happy. "I see Zack, when he's in the city and can get away. I see Cloud when Zack can drag him along, because he doesn't seem to be certain of his welcome when he's by himself. And I see you even less than that. But you all have your lives above the Plate, at ShinRa, where you see each other all the time, and work together, and I just feel like maybe I'm stuck watching from the edges, or something. It's great when you're all here, but even then, there are times when I don't get the jokes, or know the people you're talking about, and it's a little… sad."

Sephiroth looked at her, cat-slit pupils wide in the darkness to take everything in. She was… perfectly serious. She understood. It wasn't something he expected at all. Aeris was someone quite outside his experience; he didn't think he'd ever met another female quite like her. She was cheerful, a little mothering, and quick to tease. And he had to admit, whenever she turned that warmth on him, he felt quite welcome. How could someone as open-hearted as her not feel like she was wanted, like she was needed?

"The silly thing is I think Cloud feels the same way. You know how he is, always so hard on himself. He thinks you hung the moon, and Zack – well, maybe he's a little more realistic where Zack's concerned due to having been dragged on so many misadventures, but he looks up to him as well. And me, well," she shrugged, blushing. "There are times when I think he feels this is just another thing where Zack's dragged him along, and we're tolerating him for Zack's sake, or something equally ridiculous."

"But that would mean the only one who doesn't feel like that is Zack," Sephiroth pointed out.

"Zack loves to be surrounded by people he loves. People who love him back. And the three of us – we all have our little issues." Like the fact that Aeris was 'in hiding' from ShinRa, and had strange talents. "We're not always easy people to love. And he is still afraid of losing us. He's not afraid that we'll decide he's not a necessary part of this relationship – he's afraid he'll do something to drive us away. Make some mistake that can't be fixed, or something. He just hides it better."

Now she moved closer, and slipped her arms around his waist. "Being scared and insecure is just part of being in love," Aeris said quietly. "It's part of being human." And neither of them, they both knew, were quite that.

They didn't speak, just stood there, looking at the sleeping flowers. Finally, Aeris asked, "Are you coming back to bed?"

Wordlessly, Sephiroth followed.


End file.
